JOHN MOLE

His Dream

He told her: ‘I was on a platform, staring
at the blank face of my watch, no other
passenger in sight, and it was
somewhere I had been before
but couldn’t name the station. In my palm
what seemed to be a silver coin was faceless too
but whether it was currency to pay
or small change not worth pocketing
I couldn’t tell. No one had left me
with instructions, but I knew exactly
what must follow …
                   ‘Always
it was just like this, becalmed
and purposeless, a cold light
shining on the rails which picked them out
from darkness. Then there would come
a shudder from the points, a hum,
a signal crashing down, and then
a distant, dull explosion. So the train
I knew must soon be passing through
drew nearer, and I knew
I could not be allowed to wake before it passed
and once again must witness every window
shattered, each compartment
packed with children sitting there
bolt-upright, gazing straight ahead,
with bright wax faces, little boxes
on their knees, peaked caps
and scarlet uniforms. I heard a tannoy
crackle as the carriages rolled by
but no voice spoke …
                   ‘And then I’d turn around
to walk away, but every time
what seemed escape was darkened
by her shadow as it fell across my path
and wrapped around me weeping,
bitter with reproach, as if
she’d known I must have wished
the dream to come again
and meet me there without her
which was always when I woke
to find myself alone …’

                    ‘Not now,
not now,’ she said, ‘not any more,’
and made it sound so easy
as they lay together, as she took his hand
across the narrow space between them,
holding on until quite sure he was asleep.




 

Visul lui

Ii spuse ei: „Eram pe un peron uitandu-ma
la ecranul gol al ceasului meu, nici un alt
pasager nu era in zona si era
undeva unde mai fusesem inainte
dar nu-mi aminteam numele statiei. Aveam
in palma ceva ca o moneda de argint tot fara nimic pe ea
dar daca era o moneda valoroasa
sau rest nesemnificativ, bun de aruncat,
nu-mi dadeam seama. Nimeni nu-mi daduse
instructiuni, dar stiam exact
ce va urma…
                        „Mereu
a fost asa, linistit
si fara scop, o lumina rece
stralucind pe sine, scotandu-le
din intuneric. Apoi urma
un tremur al macazurilor, un zumzet,
un semnal prabusindu-se si apoi
o explozie indepartata, slaba. Asa ca trenul
care stiam ca urma sa vina curand
se apropia si stiam
ca nu era posibil sa mi se permita sa ma trezesc inainte sa treaca
si din nou va trebui sa vad fiecare geam
zguduit, fiecare compartiment
plin ochi cu copii stand acolo
drepti ca lumanarea, holbandu-se drept in fata,
cu fete stralucitoare ca de ceara, cutii mici
pe genunchi, sepci
si uniforme stacojii. Am auzit un difuzor
pocnind cand vagoanele au trecut pe langa el,
dar nici o voce nu s-a auzit…
                            ‘Si apoi ma intorceam
sa plec, dar de fiecare data
ceea ce parea a fi iesirea era intunecata
de umbra ei care-mi cadea in cale
si se infasura in jurul meu plangand,
plina de reprosuri amare, ca si cum
ar fi stiut ca imi doream
ca visul sa revina
si sa ma gaseasca acolo fara ea
ceea ce se intampla mereu cand ma trezeam
si eram singur…’

                             ‚Nu acum,
nu acum’, zise ea, ‚nu mai,’
si o facu sa sune atat de simplu
amandoi intinsi, pe cand ii lua mana
peste spatiul mic dintre ei,
si i-o tinu pana fu sigura ca adormise.

Din volumul For the Moment, Peterloo Poets,2000

Translated by Octavia Marinescu